The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

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The Conscious Parent Company is for Mums and Dads who want to make considered choices for their little ones today, to build them a better tomorrow.

Without our realizing, we so often endorse our children for their actions, rather than for just being. Celebrating our children’s being means allowing them to exist without the snares of our expectations. It’s to revel in their existence without them having to do a single thing, prove anything, or accomplish any kind of goal.” Raising a child requires a lot of learning and understanding of psychology to establish the right foundations in their mind. There are many answers to these questions, but it’s even better if you consider them to be rhetorical. The point is simple: if you approach parenting as you would running a major organization, you would probably be a better parent. Not only because you would have mapped out a mission from the get-go, but also because you would know precisely what to do to achieve your objective. If the success of your startup depended on understanding something better or staying late at work, you would do both. Essentially, that’s what conscious parenting is all about: being there. And knowing what “being there” means. The dynamics of the parent-child relationship Listen to your Favorite Books on The Go: Try Audible and Get Up To 2 Free Audiobooks | Get 3 Free AudiobooksSome concepts discussed in the book can be hard to grasp for parents who are not familiar with psychology. The book emphasizes mindfulness, self-awareness, emotional intelligence and regulation, acceptance of what is, and being in the flow. “When we embrace life itself as a wise guide, we dare to entrust ourselves to it completely, free of evaluation, judgment or analysis. Leaving behind any feeling that life is somehow a threat to us, we commit ourselves to its flow. When we allow ourselves to really feel each experience as it happens, then — instead of trying to attach ourselves to it — release it into the flow of the next moment, we free up psychic energy that would otherwise be squandered on resistance and reactivity. This energy is then available for us to bring engaged presence to our relationships, especially with our children. As our children also learn to experience their experiences without the need to ‘do’ anything abut them necessarily, they ease into life as it is. They see the pleasure in the simplest of experiences and reap the rewards of being fully present in the moment.” (p. 79) In other words, whereas most parenting books aim to help parents control their children, “The Conscious Parent” aims to help parents control themselves. So, get ready to learn why the best way to help your children is by helping yourself and prepare to see your sons and daughters as you never have before. The essence of conscious parenting The heart of conscious parenting is the ability to be present in any situation that arises. Are you able to respond from a place of awareness rather than attachment? Do you discipline from a place of authenticity or from your ego?”

Who is to blame here? Are the children at fault? Or is it the parents’ fault that the children are not listening?It can be difficult to understand what is going on in someone else’s mind if you don’t have a basic understanding of psychology. Reuseable cloth nappies are surprisingly easy to wash and don’t take up much time. You should not over fill your washing machine as the nappies need space to move about to ensure the water can clean properly and agitate them. We recommend around half or ¾ of the drum size. Equally make sure you have enough in the wash. Too little and your machine may not spin properly and can cause too many soap suds. Dr. Shefali’s invaluable book shows how the challenges of parenting can become a great opportunity for spiritual awakening. Becoming a fully conscious parent is the greatest gift you can give to your child.” Dr. Tsabary has been featured in many major media outlets, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, the New York Times, and TEDx talks. She writes: “The objective of this book is to illumine how we might identify and capitalize on the emotional and spiritual lessons inherent in the parenting process, so that we can use them for our own development, which in turn will result in the ability to parent more effectively. As part of this approach, we are asked to open ourselves up to the possibility that our imperfections may actually be our most valuable tools for change.”

Parents often have a difficult time when I try to talk about being conscious and emotionally attuned to a child, because this is a paradigm shift they have not yet made. For most people, parenting is largely about a child paying attention to the parent’s words, moods and needs. Most parents talk too much, offering too many opinions and solutions, rather than just observing a child, matching the emotional energy of the moment, and allowing the child’s authenticity to blossom. “Empathy requires a willingness to suspend our own feelings so we can align with those of our children.” (p. 198) If parents do not engage in this attunement, children then tune out. “Our children won’t communicate with us unless we learn to detach ourselves from our own unconsciousness and enter a state of still and open receptivity to their consciousness.” (p. 201) Turning the traditional notion of parenting on its head, Dr Tsabary shifts the epicentre of the parent-child relationship away from the standard parent-to-child 'know it all' approach to a mutual 'parent-with-child' relationship in which the parent learns alongside the child. They crave attention and want to feel significant by becoming the authority and have a feeling of superiority.She is also a sought-after international speaker, who has helped transform parenting around the globe. Bullet Summary: The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary How then, do you keep your bad mood from affecting your children? The answer might lie in conscious parenting. Learn more about this mindful approach to raising kids, how it differs from other parenting styles, and the pros (and cons) of being a conscious parent. What is conscious parenting? When a teenager starts rebelling the way Jessica did, even parents more conscious than Anya react by reasserting their dominance. The more children protest, the more controlling parents become. They don’t realize that rather than solving the problem, they are actually worsening it because they aren’t really treating the root cause of their children’s behavior.

It will enlighten you to the fact that you are projecting all your expectations, your fears, your ideas of how things “should be” onto your kids. And your parents did it to you! And their parents… and so on! So we can see very clearly where our thoughts come from, how we identify with said thoughts and then put it upon reality to prove these thoughts correct – in this case, we hold our kids responsible to behave in the way we expect.After all, how can we hope to raise our children to be freethinkers and free-spirited if we aren’t these things ourselves? How can we raise independent, autonomous children if we ourselves aren’t independent and autonomous? How can we raise another human being, another spirit, if our own being has been largely dismissed, our spirit systematically squelched? It may be helpful for me to share with you some of the areas in which I am learning to accept myself: I accept I am a human being before I am a parent I accept I have limitations and many shortcomings, and this is okay I accept I don’t always know the right way I accept I am often ashamed to admit my own failings I accept I frequently lose my center worse than my child ever does I accept I can be selfish and unthinking in my dealings with my child I accept I sometimes fumble and stumble as a parent I accept I don’t always know how to respond to my child I accept that at times I say and do the wrong thing with my child I accept that at times I’m too tired to be sane I accept that at times I’m too preoccupied to be present for my child I accept I am trying my best, and that this is good enough I accept my imperfections and my imperfect life I accept my desire for power and control I accept my ego I accept my yearning for consciousness (even though I often sabotage myself when I am about to enter this state). When” When you become a parent your world becomes a noisier place. Not only do you have demands for night feeds, nappy changes and cuddles to contend with, everyone seems to have advice on the best way to do things, the products you should and shouldn’t be using and when you should expect your baby to reach certain milestones. I ask to be released from the notion that I have any power or jurisdiction over my child's spirit. I release my child from the need to obtain my approval, as well as from the fear of my disapproval. I will give my approval freely as my child has earned this right. I ask for the wisdom to appreciate the sparkle of my child ordinariness. I ask for the ability not to base my child's being on grades or milestones reached. I ask for the grace to sit with my child each day and simply revel in my child's presence. I ask for a reminder of my own ordinariness and the ability to bask in its beauty. I'm not here to judge or approve my child's natural state. I'm not here to determine what course my child's life should take. I'm here as my child's spiritual partner. My child's spirit is infinitely wise and will manifest itself in exactly the way it's meant to. My child's spirit will reflect the manner in which I am invited to respond to my own essence.” We’ve changed the approach to buying nappies, and rather than you having to do the calculations we’ve worked out how many you’ll need. All our nappies come in a one week, two week or a month’s supply. With the myth that the relationship between parent and child should be unidirectional shattered, the circular potential of this journey comes into view, as we discover that our children contribute to our growth in ways that are perhaps more profound than we can ever contribute to theirs.”